Lessons to Learn

Last weekend was one of those that I will never forget, and to think that I did not even want to be a part of it. I have kind of been withdrawn from getting back involved with teens, again because I do not want to put myself out there, and go through it all over, again. I was just going to be spend last weekend in the comforts of my own home, but I got a call from a friend, asking if I could help with the Tusculum's Youth Retreat. I did not want to go because these kids do not know me, and what would they think of me being there. Come to find out, i was accepted more than what I thought, and I will explain that later on.

At first we started out at a lock-in at church, due to bad weather. Not your ideal retreat situation, since I do not like lock-ins, but it is not about me. Lock-ins do not accomplish nothing. That Saturday morning we left the church around 8, and it was all day thing of ropes courses, and other things. It was extremely exhausting, but I believe the kids came away with wanting to get to know each other, and become one. I came away with wanting to get to the kids more and building relationships with them. This is going to be fun group to get to know.

The things I came away with that weekend was that it is not about you. I have always known this, but I am afraid many youth ministers and helpers do not realize this. I know youth ministers who are not doing things they use to do because they can not be in control. I also know youth helpers who want to be in too much control. I have never been the type that yells at teens, or embarrass them because there is no reason to. Mainly, because I am not their parent, and it does not accomplish anything. I saw a lot of this, this past weekend by adults who wanted too much control. Get off your high horse! You do not realize how much the teens are mocking you. Also, stop treating me like I am teenager because you do not control me. Remember what impact you are leaving with the teens. But also remember how you treat people in general.

After, last weekend, I have been going back and forth about getting involved with teens, again. In no way am I looking for total control, but I am looking to help teens build their relationship with Jesus. What has made this decision a little harder was that I received an email from the youth minister, Rob, telling me how much he appreciated me being there and helping out. It is great feeling knowing that I am appreciated. So, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to help out, but I only when there is need. I am wanting to get involved with people my own age. I still going to try to be involved in the lives of these teens because they are fun group to work with.

Talking about leaving an impact on the lives people. Next weekend, I am headed to Montgomery, to see some teens I was an intern for, graduate. I received two invitations to graduations. It is a great feeling. Also, next month, I am going to see one of the teenagers that I was an intern for get married. It is great feeling knowing that I made an impact on these people's lives. I am learning a lot lessons in building relationships with Tusculum's Youth Group, and teens that I made a difference in their lives.

Better as a Memory

Moving on is something that is hard for me to do. I made one of the best decisions I have ever made. Yes, moving to Alabama to work with teens was a great choice, but I should have moved back to Tennessee when I was done. I love being back in Tennessee. At first I wanted to move because I was ready to get back involved in teenager's lives, but I have learned a lot about myself and working teens. I am helping teach a teenager's class, and I am involved in a small group, but I no longer want to be a youth minister, full-time. That is now known as a great memory. I love my job because of the people I work with. There is no longer this pressure of trying to please parents. It is a great feeling. Sure, I miss the relationship building, but as of right I do not plan on getting involved in ministry full-time, again. One of the main reasons why I am not getting back involved is that companies treated me better, than churches did. How sad is that? I do not have to get shot down because I am not qualified because I not married. Oh, I how I remember the excuses from churches.

Again, I think the best decision I have ever made was to move back to Tennessee. I love being up here. I happy with my life, and found a great church at Tusculum Church of Christ, and meeting some great people. Montgomery will be a memory, but Tennessee is my future. How I like making great memories, now that I back at home, and were I belong.

It's About Time

After waiting such a long time to move to Tennessee, it has been the best thing for me. No longer, I am worried about getting shot at a bank, and now I actually do not dread going into work. There is no longer sales credits, or just being in Montgomery. I have finally made it to Nashville, and I absolutely love it up here. I can go home and visit with family, and not have to rush back. I have found a church, and I am going to get involved in their youth program. I am very excited about this because I believe I can still make a difference in the lives of teens.

My attitude about life has changed, and I do not feel like I am failure. If you can not tell, I am so glad that I moved back to Tennessee. And to think that I was told that I would not get a job. I would like to say that I proved a lot of people wrong. It really was not about that. It was about being happy about life, and things that are to come. That would be one thing that I could say that I did not have in Montgomery. I feel at peace, and I know that God is blessing and guiding my footsteps. It is a comforting thought.

Find Out Who Your Friends Are

What an amazing three weeks it has been, since moving out of Montgomery, Alabama. I truly believe that God has a purpose for me in Tennessee. It has taken 5 months for me to be in Tennessee. I am very glad at how things have worked out, and look forward to finally settling down in a place that I can call home.

So, I moved out of the house in Montgomery, on September 22nd. Not knowing what the future holds, and I really had no idea where I needed to go to find a job. During my first week, I was trying to get reestablished, while looking for a job. I had to transfer all of my insurance, and licences to Tennessee. I have finally finished transfering everything to home address. I really had no idea where to go because I have not been in Tennessee for 3 years, and I was getting a little disappointed in how things were turning out. I spent a lot of time in Murfreesboro because that is where I wanted to be, but God had a different plan in mind. Well, I spent part of the day talking to an advisor from MTSU about my career opportunities, and where I could go, but nothing really came of it. All I knew was that I had a job interview with VF Imageware, and I have been waiting on this position for about 5 months. Also, in all of this, I was suppose to interview for a youth ministry position in White House, TN, but I prayed about it, and thought about it, and it was not the right time to get back involved in youth ministry. I would have been going there for the wrong reasons. I just could not do that.

I went for the interview at VF Imageware, in Nashville, on a Wednesday, and it went great, but I had to go take about 4 test and pass them all, before I got the job. So, I had to make another trip to VF on that following Friday, to take all the test, and I scored above average in about every category. They offered me the job, and I accepted, and I will be starting on November 5th. I am very excited about this opportunity because I will be closer to family and friends.

In all the hustle and bustle of becoming a citizen of Tennessee, I have been hanging out with friends, and doing things that I not been able to do in 3 years. I am so happy about being in this state. My attitude on life has changed, and I am more positive about the things that are to come. I have found a job, and I am fixing to move to Nashville, and plus I believe I have found a church that I am going to get involved in. I am going to get back involved in helping the youth at the church I attend. Something that I have missed out on for almost a year. Also, I went on the Christian Student Center retreat with MTSU, and I had an amazing weekend. This just feels like home. It is great to be back!

So, this is It

So, this is it. Knowing that I am doing the right thing by moving to Tennessee, it is still hard to leave a place that has been home for the past 3 years. What a special day for me at Vaughn Park, this past Sunday. I knew it would be special because it was going to be my last, and I figured I would end it by where I started it. I sit with the teens, and I am glad I did. They are a special group of teens, and I am going to miss them dearly.

I never realized what an impact I made on the family at Vaughn Park. I knew that I was making a difference in the lives of teens, but making the difference in the lives of adults was something I never thought I would do, while I was here. One adult that I am thinking of is Mike Rogers. I will never forget this man. He treated me like I was his son. I knew that they would probably mention my name, and tell the congregation I was leaving, but another thing happened. Mike said some great things about me, and appreciate that, but I appreciate Mike even more. I care a lot about him because he took care of me. I am truly going to miss this man. It was great to get to talk to him Sunday, and let him know what I thought of him. He has been there when I have needed him most. I will never forget the times that he drove the teens to Houston, and back from Impact. When I was in charge of those trips, he made me feel comfortable, and he put a lot trust in what I was doing.

Vaughn Park is great place, and I have loved my time here. I will never forget the people that I have come in contact with. I will remember Jamin, Mitch, Denise, and Brad for the things they taught me. I will remember Ross Mitchell and the impact he had on my life.

I am extremely excited about the move. I am wanting to be closer to my family and friends. I want to find a different job. I look forward to the things that are ahead. Again, thanks for all you have done Vaughn Park. You will always be in my heart.

September 23, 2007

After many prayers, my time in Montgomery has come to a close. Actually, it is very exciting. A new chapter starts in my life, in a state where I came from. I always said that I would never return to Tennessee, but I am in need of a new job and life, in general. It is getting old coming home to a empty house. It is getting old doing the same old job, over and over again. It is getting old not being around my family.

So, on September 21nd, this looks like my last night in Montgomery. The house I was renting has finally sold and closes, and I get to move back to Tennessee. A lot of the reason why I moving back has to do with my job, and some other things. I am very blessed to have that job, but I need to take care of myself. I did not expect to stay with Wachovia as long as I have. This just does not feel like home, anymore. How I look forward to driving home and seeing the "The Gump" in my review mirror, for the last time.

How great it is going be to see the "Welcome to Tennessee." This will be my last move. It is like I am being welcome back to my home.

I interviewed for a youth ministry position in Tennessee, up near Nashville, and I have a good chance in getting it. I got asked a bunch of questions, and now all I have to do is go through the Elder's interview, and if that goes well, I go for a face-to-face interview. How great would be to be able to go to Tennessee, and be a youth minister. God is opening doors. I feel his presence in all this. Of course, I have had some hard things that have happened, like churches not considering me because I am single and I am not qualified. Yeah, I am single, but how do they know that I am not qualified. It gets very frustrating! Even, if God decides not to put me in youth ministry, I know he will open other doors. I just have to be patient, and wait for him to act.

I'm Going Home

I have never been a huge fan of using music lyrics for blogging purposes. I like to come up with my own ideas. I am also not a fan of Chris Daughtry, but one of his songs has been own my mind for the past couple of days. Every time I hear it on the radio, it makes me want to go home even more. Some of the lyrics do not pertain to me, but there are some that do. So, with saying that, I am going to share the lyrics of that song, and discuss the ones I like.

I'm Going Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.


I like the chorus of this song, and that is were I am going to talk about how this song has helped me get through the past couple of weeks.

"I am going home
To a place where I belong."

This is so true because I am going home. I do not know when that will be, but I do know that I am going back to Tennessee. I want to go back to a place where I belong. The past couple of weeks I felt like I left I ministry that I was good at, not because I wanted to because I had to. I know I had to get a job, but I feel like I am good at being a youth minister, and I miss it. This is where I belong.

"I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong."

A lot of people think I am running away from something, and I have been told that I was dumb for leaving this place without a job. But to the people who have said this, I think you have me all wrong. I am wanting to get away from this town, and explain that later in this blog. I running to something better, than this. I am running to something that is a lot better than being a bank teller. I did not go to school, and spend $20,000+ for an education to go to waste. This Wachovia crap was just a start, is not my life.

"I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old."

I do not regret coming here, I regret staying down here. If I would have known that I was going to be in the situation I am in, I would have left in November. I put myself in this situation, and I want out. So, these places and faces are getting old, and I want to start new with friends and family I have in Tennessee. That is not saying that I do not like the people I have met while I was here, and I am just ready for something different that does not involve Wachovia, or Montgomery.

"Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want."

I wish I could just pack my bags, and get out, but if I keep on wishing this, I may get more than I bargained for. I had plan on being out of this town, by Monday, but I just has not worked out. I could have already had someone in this house, and could have been gone, but I guess that will have to wait. I wish something would go right, though.

I am going home to start a new life. I want to hang out with my sister, and actually be a brother to her. Out of all of this, I have realized that my parents are pretty cool, and it is fun being around them. I can not wait to be up there with them.

Please be praying for this. I have applied for several youth ministry positions, and I want to be involved in doing youth ministry, again. I am very good at this, and I know that I am good at it. So, I am going home to a place where I belong.