Lessons to Learn

Last weekend was one of those that I will never forget, and to think that I did not even want to be a part of it. I have kind of been withdrawn from getting back involved with teens, again because I do not want to put myself out there, and go through it all over, again. I was just going to be spend last weekend in the comforts of my own home, but I got a call from a friend, asking if I could help with the Tusculum's Youth Retreat. I did not want to go because these kids do not know me, and what would they think of me being there. Come to find out, i was accepted more than what I thought, and I will explain that later on.

At first we started out at a lock-in at church, due to bad weather. Not your ideal retreat situation, since I do not like lock-ins, but it is not about me. Lock-ins do not accomplish nothing. That Saturday morning we left the church around 8, and it was all day thing of ropes courses, and other things. It was extremely exhausting, but I believe the kids came away with wanting to get to know each other, and become one. I came away with wanting to get to the kids more and building relationships with them. This is going to be fun group to get to know.

The things I came away with that weekend was that it is not about you. I have always known this, but I am afraid many youth ministers and helpers do not realize this. I know youth ministers who are not doing things they use to do because they can not be in control. I also know youth helpers who want to be in too much control. I have never been the type that yells at teens, or embarrass them because there is no reason to. Mainly, because I am not their parent, and it does not accomplish anything. I saw a lot of this, this past weekend by adults who wanted too much control. Get off your high horse! You do not realize how much the teens are mocking you. Also, stop treating me like I am teenager because you do not control me. Remember what impact you are leaving with the teens. But also remember how you treat people in general.

After, last weekend, I have been going back and forth about getting involved with teens, again. In no way am I looking for total control, but I am looking to help teens build their relationship with Jesus. What has made this decision a little harder was that I received an email from the youth minister, Rob, telling me how much he appreciated me being there and helping out. It is great feeling knowing that I am appreciated. So, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to help out, but I only when there is need. I am wanting to get involved with people my own age. I still going to try to be involved in the lives of these teens because they are fun group to work with.

Talking about leaving an impact on the lives people. Next weekend, I am headed to Montgomery, to see some teens I was an intern for, graduate. I received two invitations to graduations. It is a great feeling. Also, next month, I am going to see one of the teenagers that I was an intern for get married. It is great feeling knowing that I made an impact on these people's lives. I am learning a lot lessons in building relationships with Tusculum's Youth Group, and teens that I made a difference in their lives.

Better as a Memory

Moving on is something that is hard for me to do. I made one of the best decisions I have ever made. Yes, moving to Alabama to work with teens was a great choice, but I should have moved back to Tennessee when I was done. I love being back in Tennessee. At first I wanted to move because I was ready to get back involved in teenager's lives, but I have learned a lot about myself and working teens. I am helping teach a teenager's class, and I am involved in a small group, but I no longer want to be a youth minister, full-time. That is now known as a great memory. I love my job because of the people I work with. There is no longer this pressure of trying to please parents. It is a great feeling. Sure, I miss the relationship building, but as of right I do not plan on getting involved in ministry full-time, again. One of the main reasons why I am not getting back involved is that companies treated me better, than churches did. How sad is that? I do not have to get shot down because I am not qualified because I not married. Oh, I how I remember the excuses from churches.

Again, I think the best decision I have ever made was to move back to Tennessee. I love being up here. I happy with my life, and found a great church at Tusculum Church of Christ, and meeting some great people. Montgomery will be a memory, but Tennessee is my future. How I like making great memories, now that I back at home, and were I belong.

It's About Time

After waiting such a long time to move to Tennessee, it has been the best thing for me. No longer, I am worried about getting shot at a bank, and now I actually do not dread going into work. There is no longer sales credits, or just being in Montgomery. I have finally made it to Nashville, and I absolutely love it up here. I can go home and visit with family, and not have to rush back. I have found a church, and I am going to get involved in their youth program. I am very excited about this because I believe I can still make a difference in the lives of teens.

My attitude about life has changed, and I do not feel like I am failure. If you can not tell, I am so glad that I moved back to Tennessee. And to think that I was told that I would not get a job. I would like to say that I proved a lot of people wrong. It really was not about that. It was about being happy about life, and things that are to come. That would be one thing that I could say that I did not have in Montgomery. I feel at peace, and I know that God is blessing and guiding my footsteps. It is a comforting thought.

Find Out Who Your Friends Are

What an amazing three weeks it has been, since moving out of Montgomery, Alabama. I truly believe that God has a purpose for me in Tennessee. It has taken 5 months for me to be in Tennessee. I am very glad at how things have worked out, and look forward to finally settling down in a place that I can call home.

So, I moved out of the house in Montgomery, on September 22nd. Not knowing what the future holds, and I really had no idea where I needed to go to find a job. During my first week, I was trying to get reestablished, while looking for a job. I had to transfer all of my insurance, and licences to Tennessee. I have finally finished transfering everything to home address. I really had no idea where to go because I have not been in Tennessee for 3 years, and I was getting a little disappointed in how things were turning out. I spent a lot of time in Murfreesboro because that is where I wanted to be, but God had a different plan in mind. Well, I spent part of the day talking to an advisor from MTSU about my career opportunities, and where I could go, but nothing really came of it. All I knew was that I had a job interview with VF Imageware, and I have been waiting on this position for about 5 months. Also, in all of this, I was suppose to interview for a youth ministry position in White House, TN, but I prayed about it, and thought about it, and it was not the right time to get back involved in youth ministry. I would have been going there for the wrong reasons. I just could not do that.

I went for the interview at VF Imageware, in Nashville, on a Wednesday, and it went great, but I had to go take about 4 test and pass them all, before I got the job. So, I had to make another trip to VF on that following Friday, to take all the test, and I scored above average in about every category. They offered me the job, and I accepted, and I will be starting on November 5th. I am very excited about this opportunity because I will be closer to family and friends.

In all the hustle and bustle of becoming a citizen of Tennessee, I have been hanging out with friends, and doing things that I not been able to do in 3 years. I am so happy about being in this state. My attitude on life has changed, and I am more positive about the things that are to come. I have found a job, and I am fixing to move to Nashville, and plus I believe I have found a church that I am going to get involved in. I am going to get back involved in helping the youth at the church I attend. Something that I have missed out on for almost a year. Also, I went on the Christian Student Center retreat with MTSU, and I had an amazing weekend. This just feels like home. It is great to be back!

So, this is It

So, this is it. Knowing that I am doing the right thing by moving to Tennessee, it is still hard to leave a place that has been home for the past 3 years. What a special day for me at Vaughn Park, this past Sunday. I knew it would be special because it was going to be my last, and I figured I would end it by where I started it. I sit with the teens, and I am glad I did. They are a special group of teens, and I am going to miss them dearly.

I never realized what an impact I made on the family at Vaughn Park. I knew that I was making a difference in the lives of teens, but making the difference in the lives of adults was something I never thought I would do, while I was here. One adult that I am thinking of is Mike Rogers. I will never forget this man. He treated me like I was his son. I knew that they would probably mention my name, and tell the congregation I was leaving, but another thing happened. Mike said some great things about me, and appreciate that, but I appreciate Mike even more. I care a lot about him because he took care of me. I am truly going to miss this man. It was great to get to talk to him Sunday, and let him know what I thought of him. He has been there when I have needed him most. I will never forget the times that he drove the teens to Houston, and back from Impact. When I was in charge of those trips, he made me feel comfortable, and he put a lot trust in what I was doing.

Vaughn Park is great place, and I have loved my time here. I will never forget the people that I have come in contact with. I will remember Jamin, Mitch, Denise, and Brad for the things they taught me. I will remember Ross Mitchell and the impact he had on my life.

I am extremely excited about the move. I am wanting to be closer to my family and friends. I want to find a different job. I look forward to the things that are ahead. Again, thanks for all you have done Vaughn Park. You will always be in my heart.

September 23, 2007

After many prayers, my time in Montgomery has come to a close. Actually, it is very exciting. A new chapter starts in my life, in a state where I came from. I always said that I would never return to Tennessee, but I am in need of a new job and life, in general. It is getting old coming home to a empty house. It is getting old doing the same old job, over and over again. It is getting old not being around my family.

So, on September 21nd, this looks like my last night in Montgomery. The house I was renting has finally sold and closes, and I get to move back to Tennessee. A lot of the reason why I moving back has to do with my job, and some other things. I am very blessed to have that job, but I need to take care of myself. I did not expect to stay with Wachovia as long as I have. This just does not feel like home, anymore. How I look forward to driving home and seeing the "The Gump" in my review mirror, for the last time.

How great it is going be to see the "Welcome to Tennessee." This will be my last move. It is like I am being welcome back to my home.

I interviewed for a youth ministry position in Tennessee, up near Nashville, and I have a good chance in getting it. I got asked a bunch of questions, and now all I have to do is go through the Elder's interview, and if that goes well, I go for a face-to-face interview. How great would be to be able to go to Tennessee, and be a youth minister. God is opening doors. I feel his presence in all this. Of course, I have had some hard things that have happened, like churches not considering me because I am single and I am not qualified. Yeah, I am single, but how do they know that I am not qualified. It gets very frustrating! Even, if God decides not to put me in youth ministry, I know he will open other doors. I just have to be patient, and wait for him to act.

I'm Going Home

I have never been a huge fan of using music lyrics for blogging purposes. I like to come up with my own ideas. I am also not a fan of Chris Daughtry, but one of his songs has been own my mind for the past couple of days. Every time I hear it on the radio, it makes me want to go home even more. Some of the lyrics do not pertain to me, but there are some that do. So, with saying that, I am going to share the lyrics of that song, and discuss the ones I like.

I'm Going Home

I'm staring out into the night,
Trying to hide the pain.
I'm going to the place where love
And feeling good don't ever cost a thing.
And the pain you feel's a different kind of pain.

I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home.
Well I'm going home.

The miles are getting longer, it seems,
The closer I get to you.
I've not always been the best man or friend for you.
But your love, remains true.
And I don't know why.
You always seem to give me another try.

So I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.

Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want.
Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all, yeah.

Oh, well I'm going home,
Back to the place where I belong,
And where your love has always been enough for me.
I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong.
I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old.
I said these places and these faces are getting old.
So I'm going home.
I'm going home.


I like the chorus of this song, and that is were I am going to talk about how this song has helped me get through the past couple of weeks.

"I am going home
To a place where I belong."

This is so true because I am going home. I do not know when that will be, but I do know that I am going back to Tennessee. I want to go back to a place where I belong. The past couple of weeks I felt like I left I ministry that I was good at, not because I wanted to because I had to. I know I had to get a job, but I feel like I am good at being a youth minister, and I miss it. This is where I belong.

"I'm not running from.
No, I think you got me all wrong."

A lot of people think I am running away from something, and I have been told that I was dumb for leaving this place without a job. But to the people who have said this, I think you have me all wrong. I am wanting to get away from this town, and explain that later in this blog. I running to something better, than this. I am running to something that is a lot better than being a bank teller. I did not go to school, and spend $20,000+ for an education to go to waste. This Wachovia crap was just a start, is not my life.

"I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old."

I do not regret coming here, I regret staying down here. If I would have known that I was going to be in the situation I am in, I would have left in November. I put myself in this situation, and I want out. So, these places and faces are getting old, and I want to start new with friends and family I have in Tennessee. That is not saying that I do not like the people I have met while I was here, and I am just ready for something different that does not involve Wachovia, or Montgomery.

"Be careful what you wish for,
'Cause you just might get it all.
You just might get it all,
And then some you don't want."

I wish I could just pack my bags, and get out, but if I keep on wishing this, I may get more than I bargained for. I had plan on being out of this town, by Monday, but I just has not worked out. I could have already had someone in this house, and could have been gone, but I guess that will have to wait. I wish something would go right, though.

I am going home to start a new life. I want to hang out with my sister, and actually be a brother to her. Out of all of this, I have realized that my parents are pretty cool, and it is fun being around them. I can not wait to be up there with them.

Please be praying for this. I have applied for several youth ministry positions, and I want to be involved in doing youth ministry, again. I am very good at this, and I know that I am good at it. So, I am going home to a place where I belong.

How to Lose a Girl in 2 Days

This blog is not intended for you to feel sorry for me, but to give you an idea of my dating adventures, or lack there of. And plus, I have not written a blog on dating. Some of these stories looking back on them are silly in how they turned out, but it also gives me hope that there is some else better out there than the ones I am going to mention in this story. I am not going to mention any names in this story because some people might get mad at me, mainly the ones I have attempted to date. But then again, I could care less.

Girl 1: I knew that my dating life was going to be an adventure in 1st grade. I never caused any problems in school, but one day I got bored, and it was near the end of school for the year. So, I was looking for summer love and wanting to experiment with the "kiss". Good idea, so I thought. I got the courage to go over to this girl's desk, and lay a big smooch on the cheek. That was the best part of the whole experience. The next thing I did not see coming. I felt this hand come across my face. It was the slap that could be heard and felt throughout Flintville Elementary School. Everyone looked at me in a new light, though. I was the big man on campus, in such a small grade.

Girl 2: I had thought that I had found the girl of my dreams in 3rd grade. 2nd grade was all about building my reputation. In third grade I had finally found the one who was going to be my relationship for the year. We would sit on the bus with each other and talk. Our relationship was really becoming something. Needless to say, after about two or three weeks, or maybe four, we decided to call it quits. I do not remember being hurt, or showing any emotions, I just lived my normal life.

Girl 3: After my experience in 3rd grade, I never really pursued anything. Of course, I tried to ask out every girl, and sometimes I got to setup to ask girls out who did not show any interest in me, but I did not care. There was always this one girl that I had a crush, but after about three or four times of trying to be girlfriend and boyfriend, I had to come to the realization that I had to stop asking. After this trying of improving my dating life, I backed off the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing till I was in high school. I never found anyone I liked, or shown interest in because everyone the girls seemed fake. It seemed the same way when I was in high school, as well. There was this one girl I had a a crush on in my youth group, but she ended up marrying one of friends. What a bomber!

Girl 4: This happened when I was a sophomore in college, at MTSU. I did a lot of things wrong in this relationship. Nothing impure, I did not get to know her. At first I thought that relationships were all about holding hands and that what love was. Also, she did somethings wrong in this relationship. From what I found out she put everything on a time limit. I know that it takes time to build a relationship, but it just seemed that this was taking it too far. After a couple of months of the awkwardness, we finally became good friends, and we have been friends ever since then. I just have this feeling her mother does not like me because she treats me like crap every time I am in Tennessee.

Girl 5: This happened my 3rd your at MTSU, and I was still young in my dating life. This is were things began to get a little out of hand. My roommate at the time started dating a girl, and so he thought that I should date this girl's roommate. So, I met this girl, and I thought that she was the one. We started going on dates, and it went from there. My roommate began to do somethings that he should not have done, and I was afraid that I was going to be in same boat he was in, and it was headed that way. After about a month of dating, and other things, I called it off. I know that she was hurt, but I had to do it. People asked me why I broke up with her, and they told me I made a dumb decision, but looking back on it, it was one of the best decisions I ever made.

Girl 6: This is probably the most frustrating one of them all. The people that I dated in college was mainly because I felt pressured to date. I never really thought that the relationships I was in would grow into something because to be honest, I did not give it a chance to. I had known this girl ever since she started working with a youth group in Murfreesboro. I was a youth volunteer there at the church, I never really wanted to pursue more than what was there. I thought of her as a co-worker and friend. After about a year of knowing each other and hanging out, I decided to get up the courage to ask her out on date. I did not tell anyone I was going to do it. When I finally decided I was going to ask her, she was not at church on that night, so I had to wait another week, before I could get up the courage to ask her, again. So, the time finally came, and I did it. I planned to ask her face-to-face because I did not want this be like some relationships. I got her alone, and I told her that what she was doing was making a difference in the lives of these teens. I told her that she was good at what she did. Nothing too deep. I just wanted to get to know her. She said yes, and I was on cloud nine, or so I thought. This is were the whole title for this blog comes true. I asked this girl out on a Wednesday, and in two days everything changed. I got her cell phone number, and I called her before we were supposed to go out just to make sure everything was good to go. Then her story started to change. She said instead of dinner, why don't we go get some coffee after church, Sunday night, then that changed too. I did not even like coffee, I just wanted to go with her. There was also something else she suggested, but I just decided to call it off because I could tell were this was headed. I ask her why she did give us a chance to get to know each other. Did some one say something to her. What happened in two days that made such a difference. I have yet to figure this out because I am still confused by this one. Yes, we are good friends and she has said somethings that have made me think there is a chance that could still date, but I am not going to take a chance if I am going to get treated like this. I do not look back on this because I do not think anything wrong. It seemed like she did not give it chance. Why is that? This is something has plagued my dating life. Take a chance...take a chance!

Montgomery: It was never my intention to found love down here because I always thought I was going back to Tennessee. But that did not stop me from trying. I have been on a couple of dates, and I finally understood the whole thing about dating. I understood that it is about getting to know someone. Nothing more, nothing less. I have had fun going on the dates, and I thought that they could lead to something, but nothing. I am always left to wonder what I did wrong. It seems that these girls did not want to take a chance to get to know me. Why? I have not received any answers, or good excuses. I am beginning to think if I go back home to Tennessee, I can find someone.

I know that there some girls/women that I have left out. I guess they got lucky, or I could not remember them, and that is about it. I know that God has someone out there for me. It just gets frustrating when things do not work out for the best. When I think I found someone, something happens. Could this be a reason why I am going to move back to Tennessee. Finding someone is not going to going fill a void in my life. I want to share my life with someone. I want to found someone God has put on this Earth to make a difference in my life, and me in theirs. I want to find someone who will be my best friend, and the love of my life. God has put that someone out there. Could they be back in Tennessee. I have yet to find the answers to that one, too.

Lost

I have never been a hugh fan of the television series, LOST, but I am sort of feeling what they are going through. I feel lost being in this town. I am beginning to wonder why I have stayed in Montgomery, Alabama. At first, it was to continue to support the youth group at Vaughn Park, but I feel that I am no longer needed, and I feel I need to go somewhere else and help with a youth group. I am not saying that I need to go somewhere to find acceptance, but I have not left Montgomery. I feel that the teens still look up to me, and miss me. From the day that I left the work at Vaughn Park, it has never been the same. I knew things were going to chanage, but it seems to me that my work should not be forgotten. It is not about me, but there is no longer the sense to belong in this state.

It is a daily process to get out of here because I am not happy with myself, or things that have happened down here. I am want so badly to be near my family and friends. Gosh, it would save so much traveling, so that I can go and have a lot more fun. So, with saying that, I am want to move back to Tennessee. I have been through several interviews, since my vacation, in April, and I am about to do another one. This is another area that I feel lost at. Like I said before, I am willing to anything to get me back to Tennessee, except working in a bank. I feel that I have been passed over certain jobs that I deserve. I know that I have to have patience, and wait for God to act, but this has been difficult. Please pray for me as I struggle with this because leaving can not come soon enough. Hopefully, this job at Lifeway Corporate Headquarters will be the one. It is job that has to with my major in college, and I feel that my education will not go to waste. I did not become a Wachovia Bank Teller for a career. Looking back on it, I wished I never became a teller. I wonder why I got thrown into this position? We will save that blogger topic for another day.

If it were not for the small group that I am asscoiated with, I would feel more lost in this town. They have taken me in, and made me one of their own. I just wish I knew what I needed to do because I do not where to go, except to Tennessee. I feel that if I do not get away from this area, I am going to continue to struggle with things that are not needed in my life. When are things going to change, and what direction do I need to take, so that I will not feel so lost?

Waiting in the Wind

For the past three weeks I have been praying for some miracle to happen, and I could find another job. It is not like I do not like helping people, it the continous struggle to sale something to someone who does not need it. I have applied to jobs in Auburn, Tennessee, and places around Montgomery. How come I am not finding the job that I think I should have.? I have shown interest in youth ministry jobs, only to be turned down because I did not get my information in on time. I have realized that I can not go in this along. Some part of me says why did I have to leave a job that I love doing? I finally understand it now because I get to spend time with teens because I want to, and it is not a job that I do for convenience. I have also come to realize that prayer is more than coming to God because I want to change something...it is time that I have to spend with him and build a relationship with because I want to know him, more. When are things going to change? There is not a day that I do not come home and do my routine job search. Then again I am remind of a lesson that it has to be on his time, not mine.

Vaughn Park is loosing a great minister in Ross. Ross is been one of my dearest friends and ministers. Ross was there when I needed him most, while I worked at the church. He did not make fun of me so that he could feel better about himself. What he did was encourage me to keep going. I have been blessed by Ross because God used Him to get me through my summer internship. He offered to help me anyway he could. If I needed someone to talk to, he was there to listen. If I needed someone to go play golf with, he was there. Even when I wanted to go to an Auburn game, he was there. I appreciate the times that I got to go vent about things to Tia. I love how she would shoot straight with me, but also encourage me to keep up the good work. I am going to truly miss this family. I know God is going to bless the church in Opelika.

Two Things

I have currently been working for a bank for a little over three months, and I am currently not happy at were things are headed, so I think it is about time that I start looking for another job. I know that companies will take a risk over hiring someone who has only been working for such a small time, but I have got to find something were I am happy and I can put my knowledge and skills to work, and that is not with a bank. So, with saying all of that, I have decided to give youth ministry another shot. I am applying for other jobs, but I feel that I am being called to minister to teenagers. This is were I feel like I am being put use, and I actually making a difference. So, you may ask, why would you want to do something like this, again. I do not miss the ridicule over things that I could not do, and things that I did. I want my ministry to make a difference. I miss the building relationships with the teens, and just being able to talk to them and encouraging them to keep going. So, I guess you could say that I am glutting for punishment, but I feel out of place at my current job, and I want to place my life in the the lives of teenagers. I am have been going back and forth on this decision for the past couple of weeks, and aftering watching, "Facing the Gaints," I realized that God has a bigger purpose for my life. I may take me a couple of weeks to to hear back on the jobs that I have applied for, but with God everything is possible. This may not work out the way I want, but if not I will give God my all, whatever God decides I will praise Him.

One of my good friends, Walt is getting married, this weekend. I have only known Walt for almost a year, and he has become one of my best friends. If it were not for Walt, I do not know how I could have made it through this last summer. Walt has been there when I have needed him. God put Walt in my life, and he has made a difference in my life. I am truly going to miss having him here, in Montgomery. I am excited for Cristin and him, and I can not wait to travel up to Huntsville, this upcoming weekend for the wedding. God has put so many people in my life. I know that I have friend that I can count on for years to come, and maybe one day, I will be back in Tennessee, and our paths will cross, again.

Money over People

Money has never been a high priority in my life because I know that I will always be taken care of. I know that I have to have money to go out with friends, take care of rent and bills, and do other things, but when money gets in the way of how I interact with people, that is when it becomes a problem. Money should not become an issue with how we talk to people. Every morning I dread going to work because I know how we are going to start off in huddles. In short, we try to discover more ways to get more money out of people's pocket. From what I learned if people need a loan, or a checking account they will come into the bank to get one. I am expected to refer, or in other words try to sale something to people that they don't need. We also try to change people's mind about were they hold their accounts, but if they are happy at were they are at, why bother them? All this is about getting money from people, so that the leadership of the bank can get more money. It is not about people, it is about money. No wonder people dread going to the bank. Of course, we always are going to say that we believe in customer service, but how we serve a customer is not about money, it is about treating them with respect, and building a relationship with them. It has become to a point were I am becoming stressed out and I am not sleeping as good. In my opinion, I am too young to get stressed out. Also, to be honest, I do not care if someone opens up a checking account with us. My approach with customers is about building a relationship with them because they will respect you more when you talk to them and get to know them, and they will keep coming back to the bank if you treat them like someone, instead the next sales opportunity. It is so frustrating when I try to make a sale because I am not a salesman, nor do I want to be. I do not think I signed up to be a salesman. Maybe I have a bad atttitude about this, but money should not come president over building a relationship with someone.

I love everything about my job. I love the people I work with because they make it fun, but I have problem with taking advantage of people. I have problem with being a telemarketer, even though they say we are not one. I would hate to receive annoying phone calls at 5:30 when people are trying to eat a meal with their family, or enjoying time with their kids. If everyone got this message, I would join the do not call list. I will even give you the website were you can go and register your number: www.donotcall.gov. You can register you cell and home phone numbers, and I would advise you do it.

I have not written in my blog in a long time, and I have kind of kept somethings to myself, since I resigned, or however you want to put it, from being a youth minister to teenagers. I miss the talking and building relationships with teens. I truly believe that I made a difference, and I do not want that difference to be forgotten. I know that may sound selfish, but when I left, I did not say I was giving up on these teen's lives, and I am not going to. No one has asked me to, either, but am I still going to be a minister to these teenagers. It is good know that when I go to ACA basketball games that they still treat me like the minister I once was. I found out last week that some of the teens I was a minister to were at Gulf Coast Getaway, and they met some people I know from MTSU, and the girl from MTSU said that those teens had nothing but good things to say about me. When she told me that, I knew that what I have done has truly been an impact on the lives of these teenagers at Vaughn Park.

What Has Been

As I think back on what has been an incredible journey being the Intern Minister to Students at Vaughn Park Church, I never knew that it would take me this far. After the first year I interned at VP, to be honest with you I did not want to come back. Things had to workout and they did because God's hand was on the whole thing. You can see from this picture that a lot of things have changed. Most of these people have graduated, and moved off to better things in life, but I will never forget the people in this picture. They are still a very influential in my life, and I thank God everyday for putting them here.

There have been some people who have asked me if I could have done anything differently, but there is not. I did not come to VP to be the best intern, but to develop relationships and maybe make a difference in someone's life. I believe that I have done that. Just last night, a group of teens who have made my life fun came over to my apartment because they just wanted to see me. I believe now that I have chance to truly be a friend to them, and just hangout with them, without anymore pressure, but still making a difference in their lives. That is one of the good things that I see coming out of taking a break from doing church youth ministry.

I see other good things coming from this break. While I was talking to my dad today, I told him I do not have to deal with parents anymore. There is nothing bad that the parents have done to me, but it is nice to not have to deal with that anymore. Also, I do not have to deal with the criticism and being put down for things that I could not do, and things that I did do. I know that I am going to be faced with critcism in whatever I do, but most people will agree that we need to be an encourgement to others, not a discouragement to get us through life. There are some that will take that as offensive, but please do not. There were days that I felt like I could not go on anymore because of this, but more often then not, there were days that I had to keep going because I knew I could do it. I have high confidence in myself, and I can get through anything because God gives me strength.

Many people have asked me why I am taking a break from youth ministry, and I told people many different things. I think the defining moment was this past summer. For me, I had a lot of things that happened to me, and lets put this way, I could not wait till the fall. I had a lot of fun, but all through the summer, I was thinking when can I quit. What a terrible attitude to have. Also, I felt like I was developing an attitude within myself, and I think God was telling me that I need to do some reflection, and see what else was out there.

I am going to miss working with teenagers on a daily basis, but I looking forward to see what else I can do. I have had a great overall experience being the intern, and I never will forget the times that I have had going to Six flags (the dreaded trip) to Last Hour, Impact, retreats and other things. I will never forget the relationships that I have built with the teens and how the helped me out with some of the things that I was going through. I look at this picture and I see the smiles of these young girls, and I hope that is what I left this youth group with. I know it seems like I am saying "good-bye." In some ways I am because I will not going to be around you and doing things for teens, everyday. I thank God for you daily. God is going to do amazing things in your life, you just got to let him take control and take you down his journey. It has to be his plans, not yours. I leave you with this: You in HIS plans...your life for HIS plans.

Home

It seems that everyone is moving these days, and I am fixing to move to a new home myself. I am not a big fan of moving because I hate it. I understand when I get married and have kids, I know that I will be moving, but I am too young for looking at real estate options to see which one best fits my needs.

As many of you know, currently I do not live in the best apartment complexes. They are not the safiest place to live. I feel safe there and I know nothing is going to happen to me, but sometimes you have to choose the most affordable way to live. It is not how it looks, but what you can afford. I have lived in apartments for almost 3 years, but now I want something that it is called a house. So, in January I have decided to move into a new house, or new to me. I am wanting more space, and somewhere I can invite people over, and they can feel safe. The photo above is the house that I am going to be moving into. I know that it is going to be more responsibility, but I think that I am ready for the move.

Not only is this house bigger than my current apartment, but it has a pool. I am thinking of all the ministry opportunities that could go with having a pool. Who cares if it is hard to maintain. That is the least of my worries.

I am pretty excited about moving into my new house. It is going to be great living there.

Eye of a Tiger

As I write this note, I sit here freezing in my office that will no longer be mine in two months, and that is sad. I think I am shedding a tear, now.

It has taken me about a year to have my first "War Eagle" moment. I have wanted to attend an Auburn game ever since last fall. I became a Auburn Tiger fan because the UT Vols were loosing, and I needed a team to cheer for and who would win. I did not want to become Alabama fan because I can not stand the Tide, and you are ridiculed too much to be a fan of the Crimison Tide. So, while I have been down here I have slowly become a Auburn Tiger fan, while still believing that the UT Vols and the MTSU Blue Raiders can win. I think I now own more Auburn shirts and caps, than Tennessee gear. I will always be a Tennessee fan at heart, but after the dibacle that the Vols went through, last year, I had to find a winner and some team worth watching on TV.

My family came into town this past weekend, and we have been talking about going to a Auburn game for a while. There is nothing like experiencing a big college football program in the SEC. For the past four years my family would come to MTSU Blue Raider games, and watch them lose to teams in the Sun Belt conference. Wow, that is a conference worth watching!

I can remember going to UT Vols games with my family, and waking up at 3 a.m. to travel to Knoxville to be part of pre-game festivities. Not only that, I remember seeing the sun rise of the Tennessee mountains and thinking what am I doing up this early. After about two years of making this mistake, my family decided that we would watch the games on TV, instead. I remember going to the game cramped four deep in a backseat of a car made for three people. That was uncomfortable. I have plenty of stories about traveling to games in Knoxville. Two of my favorite memories was going to watch Peyton Manning play, and the year the Vols won the National Championship. That was incredible!

I am very glad my family came down to visit, so that we could enjoy the day in 90 degree heat. Now, I know why people stay at home to watch the games. I look forward to more "War Eagle" moments. Now, I have a hat that I can wear and show off my Auburn pride, and cheer for a school that I never went to. Well, I never went to UT, but I was raised a Tennessee fan. That counts, doesn't it?

The Trip, at Last

I have been wanting to post for a while, but I have been waiting for some pictures from one of my friends that I visited while I was on vacation. This vacation that I took 2 weeks ago was one of the best vacations I have been on in a long time. It was time to take time and relax, and not have to worry about everyday things. We went to Ft. Walton Beach. In my opinion, this was probably the best time of the year to go because it was not crowded and you did not have to worry about people getting in the way. We spent a lot of money eating at resturants that you normally do not get to eat at it. Some of the food was good and some of it was bad. We stayed there at Ft. Walton from Monday evening to Friday morning, and then I went to Tennessee, for the weekend.

At Tennessee, I stayed with some friends and was able to see some people that I have not seen in a while. I also had to take care of somethings for school. I can not believe that I am about to graduate from MTSU. It has been 5 years in the making, and I spent so much money just for a piece of paper. I am ready to graduate and move on with my life. While I was in Tennessee, I found out that one of my good friends got engaged. It seems that everyone around me is getting engaged, but me. I do not feel sorry for myself, I just think it is funny. The roommates that I have lived with are either married, or about to be engaged. I think a lot of it has to do with living with me because if they were not my roommates they would not have met the women that they are going to marry, today.

After I left Murfreesboro, I went to Crossville, TN to see my best friend, Brent. I finally got to see his and Jennifer's baby girl, Briley. She is a gift from God. I have been waiting on this moment to finally meet this precious gift, and while I was holding her, I was thinking that I have another child that I am need to protect. I have been waiting to see Briley ever since she was born, and it was worth the wait. I hope to see this precious one, soon again.

My vacation was great, and it was exactly what I needed. I had not been able to take time off and relax in such a long time. I got to spend time with family and friends. What a blessing it was to meet a new friend. I am very blessed to have family and friends that are willing help strengthen my relationship with God. It was great to get away and experience this.

Love to Encourage

The day started like every other day. I would go into the office and work, and try to figure out what I was going to have for lunch. Usually, I like to eat lunch around 11:30 or 12. Somedays, I will wait later, just depending on what I am doing at the time. But today, Ross invited me to lunch with him. This is the first time that I have had a one-on-one conversation with Ross about my ministry. I learned a lot about myself and about Ross. He wanted to know how I was doing, and what I was going to do after I graduate from MTSU. To end all speculation about what I am going to do, I am going to stay here, in Montgomery, and continue to serve the church at Vaughn Park, while I work at a secular job. I have come to learn that ministry is for me, but I think that I need a break from it, for a while. As I told a friend that I met at Impact, there are days that I feel I could do ministry for a long time, and then there are days that I am ready to get out of it. What keeps me going is that I continue to be an influence to teenagers. I have had other ministers tell me that I should keep going, but I sometimes feel that my heart is not into, anymore, and like my dad said when he was deciding to resign as a Deacon, at my home congregation, "if your heart is not into, it's wrong to continue." I have a heart for teenagers, and I care for them, but it is time to take a different approach. I do not know how long I will be here, but I know that God has big plans in store for me. Do not get me wrong, I have been very blessed by the time that I have been a minister intern here, and I looking forward to serving Vaughn Park for many years to come. I am very happy with the decision that I have made.

Back to Ross and the Mitchell family. When I first met Ross was when Clint was getting dropped off for a Spring Retreat that the youth group was going on. I really did not get the chance to talk him, but my impression was that he was a great minister to work with. As I have come to build relationships with the Mitchells, I feel like they are my second family. They have encouraged me, and told me to continue doing what I am doing. I am very blessed by having a family that cares for what I do. I am glad that Ross was willing to take some time out of his day to encourage and help me grow. It is great that I have someone to share my story with. To me this is what service is all about because Ross was wanting to know what was going on in my life. Service is about sharing your story with someone, but we do not really think about that, do we? Also, when I go to the Mitchell house, I feel like I am at home, and I am comfortable with them. I really love this family, and appreciate them caring for me. It is just not that Mitchells, but there are many more who care for what I am doing, here.

I just felt like I should share what happened, today. I keep getting reminded that the little things you do, bring encouragement in a big way.

Hot-Lanta

Many of you know that this is probably my favorite week in all of youth ministry. Yeah...right. This is our time to visit the "Great American Theme Park," known as Six Flags over Georgia. I can not tell you how excited I am to visit this park 3 years in row. I bet there is not a lot of people who have been able to do that feat, except in if you are a part of the Vaughn Park youth ministry, or any other youth ministry, for that matter. This brings up an interresting point...I can not stand people who like to brag on how many times they have been to Six Flags. Who cares if you stood in the heat, sweating, with your beer gut hanging out. I sure don't! I hate this trip because I am literally scared of the rides, but I love hanging out with the teens.

Let me tell you the reason why I am scared of riding the rides. Many of you do not know this story, and you can still ridicule me for not riding the rides, but I could care less. I use to like to visit this park, that will remain nameless because it is a cuss word in my vocabulary. When I was 10, I would ride those rides, and do all the dumb things that involve risk, but that would soon change. About 4 years ago, I was visiting this park with one of my friends who was an intern in Atlanta. The only reason I went was to hangout with him, and some of his friends. There was a girl in the college group, at the church where he worked, so I hung out with her for the most of the day, which was great. When we got there, Brent said, "you need to ride the ride that shoots straight-up, and drops you down." So, I did, but it was the worst mistake I made. After I got off that ride, I really thought I was going to have a heart attack. I asked Brent to feel my chest, and he told me to take it easy. So, I did, and I hung out with my new friend that I met. Ever since then, I just do not like to ride roller coasters, but I love watching idoits who do. I am going to have fun in at Six Flags over Georgia, talking to Bugs Bunny!

So, youth ministries, beer-gutted men and women, can have their fun at Six Flags...just not me. Guess what? This is some exciting news. I am going to another wedding in Tennessee, this weekend, and we know what that means...guarders and dancing. This is an experience that we all do not get to have. I will let you know how it goes, in a couple of weeks. I will let the excitment build, just like waiting in line to a ride roller coaster.

Under Par

This Fourth of July was celebrated a little different, than the ones from the past. For the past three years, I have not gone home to celebrate Independence Day. Usually, I am stuck in Montgomery, without a grill. It makes for a sad occassion because this is one day that I can gain weight. So, for this July 4th, I got to go home, and spend time with my family. This was not in the plans, till late, last Thursday. I received a text message from Jamin, asking if I wanted to go home. Usually, I would have said no because I think that I might be needed to do something with the church. Thanks, Jamin for allowing me to go home. I felt that I needed to go home, and spend time with my family, and that is exactly what I did. My dad tried to talk me out of it, but I felt that I needed to get away. Also, none of my college friends knew that I was in town, and I wanted to keep it that way because they would be calling and asking if I wanted to hangout, but this was family time. Also, Jackson tried to call, but he should have known that I was on vacation.

So, I pack my bags, and head off to Tennessee, on Friday. I was wanting to get together with a someone that I met from Impact, but that did not workout because she had prior engagements with the youth group she works with, which was a good thing. I wanted to see her, but I also knew that it was more important to spend time with family. I did not get to see my sister, as much as I wanted to because she spent most of the time working at a fireworks stand with my soon-to-be brother-in-law. I did get to see her when my dad, mom, and I drove to up to Columbia, TN, to see her at the fireworks stand. I like the fact that my sister is motivated to work hard, but there comes a time when family is more important than money. I think she has this understanding that she has to take care of everything, herself, but if she would rely on God, everything will be taken care of. So, I spent most of the time with my mom and dad. I haven't got to do that in a long time. So, last Saturday, I went to my favorite steakhouse, Longhorn, in Huntsville. My favorite steak is the New York Strip. I also went shopping for some new shoes, and I got some. It is amazing how I can still talk my parents in buying my shoes. Some may call this childish, but I call it being smart. My dad also got me some new golf balls, and I bought a new golf bag. I ready to hit the links.

There are many people who like to give me a hard time because I golf, but it is one of my favorite things to do, and to be honest, they do not understand the point of the game. It is more than just hitting the ball...it is taking out frustrations. I love getting out, and being surrounded in God's creation. I have peace of mind, and I am able to think and reflect on things that I want to do. I was able to golf twice during my break. The first time I went was with a family friend from my home congregation, and I good friend of my dads. This brings up an interesting point. I love my home church that I grew up in, and it is great to see people that I have not see in such a long time, and people like to know what I am doing. Also, it gives me the chance to take a break from the hustle and bustle of church that I am a part of. This is the reason why I am wanting to pursue a secular job because I want to serve and help Vaughn Park by being a regular member, here. I feel sometimes that I have turned church into a job, and it should not be that way. I am glad I can go home, and not have to feel like ministry is an ordinary job...it is something we do everyday. The second time I went golfing was with my dad, and my mom rode in the cart. What a great way to close out the weekend with my family. It was us on the course, and no one was there to bother us.

During this weekend, I got to go to Murfreesboro for a devo, and visit some friends. I did not mention that to my friends that I was coming, and it blew some of them away that I was there. There are times I miss attending these because I forget how it is to worship with other people close to my age. I remember when I would attend these three years ago, and they would be packed, but when I went to this one, there were about 10 college students, and about 20 adults. I do not know why there were so few students, and it use to not be like that. When I attended this one, the students were afraid to share their story. From what I noticed, this group needs to grow-up, and not be so afraid of each other. I am not for forcing someone to share, but it would be great if barriers would start to break within that group. That is another thing that has changed, since I have left the group. What I enjoyed, during this visit, was talking to one of the college interns, and catch up on what is going on in her life. This intern was one of the first people I met at MTSU, and we both attended RFC. What is amazing is that we were both Marketing majors, and now we are in ministry. I have always told her that we were going to do the same thing, throughout college, and after we graduate, and it has worked out that way, so far. I got to talk to my campus minister about things that I was going on in my life, as well. I hope to continue our conversation when I go up there to speak in the fall.

I was thinking this weekend about my life, and feel that there are times that I get taken advantage of. Does it have to do with me being kind-hearted guy, I guess you could say? I love doing good things for others, but sometimes I think people expect me to do more, and whatever they want. I know that the "nice way" is the way to go, but I feel that I am too nice, sometimes, and that gives people the chance to run all over me. I am not going to change who I am, but I get so tried of people taking advantage of me. I guess people think that I can take whatever is dished out to me, but I have got feelings, as well. I have dealt with this ever since I was in high school. Also, before I can do an idea, I get some negative reaction out of it, before even trying to do it, but if what I want to do goes wrong, it gives them the chance tear my idea apart. Where is the encouragement in that? At Impact I knew people were thinking that I could not lead the last devo, since Jamin could not. Some thought that I could not handle it, but Jamin did, and that gave me the confidence to do it. I know I am not Jamin, but I have been in this youth group for a while, and I knew I could do it, but because some did not have confidence in me, I sort of lost confidence in myself. After the devo was over with, I knew I did a great job, and so did others. I did not need others to tell me that I did a good job, but I had a great feeling after the devo was over with. That is what I mean by people do not think that I have feelings, and just in general, people think that they can say anything, and it will not affect others, but it does. I have had to learn to be careful what I say, and how I say it. There is a difference between being honest, and telling people what you think because what you say and how you say something to someone, may hurt feeelings, and destory their confidence.

Running

As I was riding on the bus, returning from Impact, yesterday, I was thinking when is our next tire going to blow, or have I left a kid somewhere. Leaving the kid behind always freaks me out because I waiting for that day that I get a call from a teenager, saying you left me. That has yet to happen...knock on wood. Really what I was thinking about was I can not wait to get home to my bed, shower, and dare I say...my toilet.

Just a few days ago, I was running away from things that were going on in my life. I am here to say that I have resolved those issues. It felt good to get away and just be by myself, and hangout with other ministers that I do not see very often. I enjoyed being around the teens, but I love hanging out with Aiden. I love Aiden, and there are times that I am very protective of him. When I see some of the teens doing stupid stuff around him, it makes me nervous because I am afraid that they are going to hurt him. I am not protective to the point that I am his parent, I just care for him. He makes me smile, even though he is only smiling because I am giving him food. I enjoyed watching how Jamin and Ashley interacted with him because they are teaching him one simple thing called love.

One thing I learned about myself at Impact was that I am not the Youth Minister that everybody wants to hangout with. I have Jamin I hang out with, but I am not part the Middle Tennessee Youth Ministry Team, nor do I want to be. By being up there, I can see it from another prospective. There are a lot of youth ministers that I know who try, and want to be on the board of Impact, or youth events that go on there. There is more ministry than that. It was great to be around Jamin, Ashley, and Aiden. I really do feel like I am a part of their family. By the way, Jamin, thanks for bringing us brownies and ice cream. Who cares of you got talked about by the Impact board. Whooptie-do! I would have done the same thing.

Impact was great for our group, and it broke down some barriers that need to be broken. God did an amazing thing in our group, and I am very proud of the way the group acted.