Running

As I was riding on the bus, returning from Impact, yesterday, I was thinking when is our next tire going to blow, or have I left a kid somewhere. Leaving the kid behind always freaks me out because I waiting for that day that I get a call from a teenager, saying you left me. That has yet to happen...knock on wood. Really what I was thinking about was I can not wait to get home to my bed, shower, and dare I say...my toilet.

Just a few days ago, I was running away from things that were going on in my life. I am here to say that I have resolved those issues. It felt good to get away and just be by myself, and hangout with other ministers that I do not see very often. I enjoyed being around the teens, but I love hanging out with Aiden. I love Aiden, and there are times that I am very protective of him. When I see some of the teens doing stupid stuff around him, it makes me nervous because I am afraid that they are going to hurt him. I am not protective to the point that I am his parent, I just care for him. He makes me smile, even though he is only smiling because I am giving him food. I enjoyed watching how Jamin and Ashley interacted with him because they are teaching him one simple thing called love.

One thing I learned about myself at Impact was that I am not the Youth Minister that everybody wants to hangout with. I have Jamin I hang out with, but I am not part the Middle Tennessee Youth Ministry Team, nor do I want to be. By being up there, I can see it from another prospective. There are a lot of youth ministers that I know who try, and want to be on the board of Impact, or youth events that go on there. There is more ministry than that. It was great to be around Jamin, Ashley, and Aiden. I really do feel like I am a part of their family. By the way, Jamin, thanks for bringing us brownies and ice cream. Who cares of you got talked about by the Impact board. Whooptie-do! I would have done the same thing.

Impact was great for our group, and it broke down some barriers that need to be broken. God did an amazing thing in our group, and I am very proud of the way the group acted.

One of those

I have been told that I have been sad for the past couple of days. To be honest with you have been disappointed with how things turned out, but not sad. Sometimes, things have a way of working out in a way that you do not expect it to. I am a pretty happy person, and things seem not to bother me as much as they use to. I hate when people say you are not smiling. How do they know how I am feeling? I am very happy to be here, but there are times that I miss being around the things at home.

I have had one of those weeks that I wished that would not have been. I owe a big thanks for Walt, my intern for being there. He has helped me forget about the things that are going on. Somethings that have happened have effected the way I do my job. I have developed an attitude, and I apologize to the ones that I have been short with. Some of those times that I have developed an attitude, I think it was for a good cause. When I am mean, or coming down too hard, it usually because people are not listening to me. When I say stop, it is like, lets see how far you can test me before I have a heart attack. Yesterday, I was very disappointed in how things were going, I could not say anything, but think of my vacation coming up in August. I was not angry at the car wash, but what was happening among the group. It was like some of the teens got up on the rebellious side of the bed, and that affected the whole group.

This I blame on myself. Usually, I am good about getting stuff together that Jamin does not have to tell me to do it. I totally forgot to setup the stuff for the car wash, and after I learned what was going on, I should have set it up. Some of it was my laziness, and forgetfulness. To Jamin, I apologize for that.

Like I said before, somethings do not workout for the best, but it is how I get through those things that make me stronger. Let me start with last Thursday. As most of you know that I was going to visit a friend at camp that I wanted to get to know a little more, and things did not workout as I had wanted. It made me feel like I did something wrong to her, and I got told be a lot of people that I did not do anything wrong. So, I have avoided the whole thing, and the drama that was associated it. This whole ordeal had an impact on my life. It made me emotional depressed, and that was causing me to have attitude that I usually do not have. So, Monday, I prayed to God that he would take control of the whole situation, and he has. Then, I went and talked to a great friend and minister, Ross about the whole thing, on Tuesday, and he helped me get through it. So, I am waiting on her, and see what she is going to do, but I have moved on, too. Also, today, I ran into someone I least expected at a resturant that Walt, Liz, and I were eating at. A girl that I was getting to know last Fall was sitting right behind us, and it became awkward, and we had to go. I did not know that she was sitting there, until she got up to get something, and I saw her, I lost me appetite. So, we left on my command, and I never looked back.

Impact can not come soon enough. I am ready to go back to Tennesse and see some friends that I have not seen in a while. I guess I am running away from things, but I think that I really deserve a break. So, at Impact, I was suppose to stay with one of my good friends from Tennessee. I found out today that his wife was going to have an enduced birth. The doctors are not worried about the baby, but the wife, Jennifer, is who they are worried about. The baby is two months early, but Jennifer is having blood pressure problems, and that is weighing on my mind, too.

I have been through a lot this week, but I am so blessed that God put people in my life to help calm me down.

Road/Life Trip

I thought this past Memorial Day would be like every other that I have celebrated. I knew what I had to do on this day, which was to take part in a Summer Kickoff Party for the teenagers. The teens had the opportunity to swim and have a kickout, over at the Youngs. It was a great way to kick the summer off, and I am looking forward to what the summer has in store for the teens and myself. One of my favorite trips for the summer is Impact because I get to spend time with the some of my friends who I haven't seen in a while.

Remember when I said that I thought this Memorial Day would be like every other. Well, around 5:30 p.m., on Monday, I get a call from Jamin asking if I would be willing to take Anthony down to Orange Beach, Alabama for the Senior Trip. I had wanted to go in the first place, but in repeated attempts of asking Jamin if I could, I got "no" everytime. This was the Senior high group that I started with when I became an intern. This group is very special to me. So, when he called me, it did not take long for me to come to a conclusion. I left Monday night, and got there around 12:15 a.m., Tuesday Morning. I got to spend a couple of days with the Seniors, and it was fun. It has been a while since I have been to the beach. It was also the first time I got the opportunity to go to Lambert's, the "Home of Throwed Rolls." I made awesome catch. What was really weird about the whole Lambert experience, was that I ran into some teens that I was a volunteer youth worker for, in Murfreesboro, TN. Out of all the trips that we have taken, I have always thought it was possible to run into some people that I know, but once you do, it catches off guard because you never expect them to be there. I see the teens that I have been an influence for at Impact, but to see someone in Orange Beach, Alabama, is crazy. It just goes to show that it is a "small world".

So, I get back on Wednesday, and this journey that I have been on for the week is not over. I finally get to meet this girl who I have been communicating through MySpace, of all things. Remember the eHarmony thing? This is not like that. This girl goes to Vaughn Park. The only way I was going to get to meet this girl is if someone introduced me to her, and thanks to Ashley, this happened. Ashley also says that I should marry this girl. How awkward it was to have her walk up, and Clint pointing out that it was her. It didn't help the awkwardness, but we were both laughing at the whole thing. But what Clint did help ease the stress of the whole thing. When I meet her, she is just what I imagined her to be. She is very nice, and has a great personality. I am not trying to get my hopes up because I have been down this road before, only to have everything go wrong. So, I am taking my time, and trying to get to know her, and see where things go. This coming week, I am going to have the opportunity to see her at a camp, and get to know her more. I am looking forward to this, but also very nervous. I just got to be myself. This is going to come out one way or the other, so I thought I would give some details about this. This is as far as I will tell, so do not ask.