Waiting in the Wind

For the past three weeks I have been praying for some miracle to happen, and I could find another job. It is not like I do not like helping people, it the continous struggle to sale something to someone who does not need it. I have applied to jobs in Auburn, Tennessee, and places around Montgomery. How come I am not finding the job that I think I should have.? I have shown interest in youth ministry jobs, only to be turned down because I did not get my information in on time. I have realized that I can not go in this along. Some part of me says why did I have to leave a job that I love doing? I finally understand it now because I get to spend time with teens because I want to, and it is not a job that I do for convenience. I have also come to realize that prayer is more than coming to God because I want to change something...it is time that I have to spend with him and build a relationship with because I want to know him, more. When are things going to change? There is not a day that I do not come home and do my routine job search. Then again I am remind of a lesson that it has to be on his time, not mine.

Vaughn Park is loosing a great minister in Ross. Ross is been one of my dearest friends and ministers. Ross was there when I needed him most, while I worked at the church. He did not make fun of me so that he could feel better about himself. What he did was encourage me to keep going. I have been blessed by Ross because God used Him to get me through my summer internship. He offered to help me anyway he could. If I needed someone to talk to, he was there to listen. If I needed someone to go play golf with, he was there. Even when I wanted to go to an Auburn game, he was there. I appreciate the times that I got to go vent about things to Tia. I love how she would shoot straight with me, but also encourage me to keep up the good work. I am going to truly miss this family. I know God is going to bless the church in Opelika.

Two Things

I have currently been working for a bank for a little over three months, and I am currently not happy at were things are headed, so I think it is about time that I start looking for another job. I know that companies will take a risk over hiring someone who has only been working for such a small time, but I have got to find something were I am happy and I can put my knowledge and skills to work, and that is not with a bank. So, with saying all of that, I have decided to give youth ministry another shot. I am applying for other jobs, but I feel that I am being called to minister to teenagers. This is were I feel like I am being put use, and I actually making a difference. So, you may ask, why would you want to do something like this, again. I do not miss the ridicule over things that I could not do, and things that I did. I want my ministry to make a difference. I miss the building relationships with the teens, and just being able to talk to them and encouraging them to keep going. So, I guess you could say that I am glutting for punishment, but I feel out of place at my current job, and I want to place my life in the the lives of teenagers. I am have been going back and forth on this decision for the past couple of weeks, and aftering watching, "Facing the Gaints," I realized that God has a bigger purpose for my life. I may take me a couple of weeks to to hear back on the jobs that I have applied for, but with God everything is possible. This may not work out the way I want, but if not I will give God my all, whatever God decides I will praise Him.

One of my good friends, Walt is getting married, this weekend. I have only known Walt for almost a year, and he has become one of my best friends. If it were not for Walt, I do not know how I could have made it through this last summer. Walt has been there when I have needed him. God put Walt in my life, and he has made a difference in my life. I am truly going to miss having him here, in Montgomery. I am excited for Cristin and him, and I can not wait to travel up to Huntsville, this upcoming weekend for the wedding. God has put so many people in my life. I know that I have friend that I can count on for years to come, and maybe one day, I will be back in Tennessee, and our paths will cross, again.

Money over People

Money has never been a high priority in my life because I know that I will always be taken care of. I know that I have to have money to go out with friends, take care of rent and bills, and do other things, but when money gets in the way of how I interact with people, that is when it becomes a problem. Money should not become an issue with how we talk to people. Every morning I dread going to work because I know how we are going to start off in huddles. In short, we try to discover more ways to get more money out of people's pocket. From what I learned if people need a loan, or a checking account they will come into the bank to get one. I am expected to refer, or in other words try to sale something to people that they don't need. We also try to change people's mind about were they hold their accounts, but if they are happy at were they are at, why bother them? All this is about getting money from people, so that the leadership of the bank can get more money. It is not about people, it is about money. No wonder people dread going to the bank. Of course, we always are going to say that we believe in customer service, but how we serve a customer is not about money, it is about treating them with respect, and building a relationship with them. It has become to a point were I am becoming stressed out and I am not sleeping as good. In my opinion, I am too young to get stressed out. Also, to be honest, I do not care if someone opens up a checking account with us. My approach with customers is about building a relationship with them because they will respect you more when you talk to them and get to know them, and they will keep coming back to the bank if you treat them like someone, instead the next sales opportunity. It is so frustrating when I try to make a sale because I am not a salesman, nor do I want to be. I do not think I signed up to be a salesman. Maybe I have a bad atttitude about this, but money should not come president over building a relationship with someone.

I love everything about my job. I love the people I work with because they make it fun, but I have problem with taking advantage of people. I have problem with being a telemarketer, even though they say we are not one. I would hate to receive annoying phone calls at 5:30 when people are trying to eat a meal with their family, or enjoying time with their kids. If everyone got this message, I would join the do not call list. I will even give you the website were you can go and register your number: www.donotcall.gov. You can register you cell and home phone numbers, and I would advise you do it.

I have not written in my blog in a long time, and I have kind of kept somethings to myself, since I resigned, or however you want to put it, from being a youth minister to teenagers. I miss the talking and building relationships with teens. I truly believe that I made a difference, and I do not want that difference to be forgotten. I know that may sound selfish, but when I left, I did not say I was giving up on these teen's lives, and I am not going to. No one has asked me to, either, but am I still going to be a minister to these teenagers. It is good know that when I go to ACA basketball games that they still treat me like the minister I once was. I found out last week that some of the teens I was a minister to were at Gulf Coast Getaway, and they met some people I know from MTSU, and the girl from MTSU said that those teens had nothing but good things to say about me. When she told me that, I knew that what I have done has truly been an impact on the lives of these teenagers at Vaughn Park.

What Has Been

As I think back on what has been an incredible journey being the Intern Minister to Students at Vaughn Park Church, I never knew that it would take me this far. After the first year I interned at VP, to be honest with you I did not want to come back. Things had to workout and they did because God's hand was on the whole thing. You can see from this picture that a lot of things have changed. Most of these people have graduated, and moved off to better things in life, but I will never forget the people in this picture. They are still a very influential in my life, and I thank God everyday for putting them here.

There have been some people who have asked me if I could have done anything differently, but there is not. I did not come to VP to be the best intern, but to develop relationships and maybe make a difference in someone's life. I believe that I have done that. Just last night, a group of teens who have made my life fun came over to my apartment because they just wanted to see me. I believe now that I have chance to truly be a friend to them, and just hangout with them, without anymore pressure, but still making a difference in their lives. That is one of the good things that I see coming out of taking a break from doing church youth ministry.

I see other good things coming from this break. While I was talking to my dad today, I told him I do not have to deal with parents anymore. There is nothing bad that the parents have done to me, but it is nice to not have to deal with that anymore. Also, I do not have to deal with the criticism and being put down for things that I could not do, and things that I did do. I know that I am going to be faced with critcism in whatever I do, but most people will agree that we need to be an encourgement to others, not a discouragement to get us through life. There are some that will take that as offensive, but please do not. There were days that I felt like I could not go on anymore because of this, but more often then not, there were days that I had to keep going because I knew I could do it. I have high confidence in myself, and I can get through anything because God gives me strength.

Many people have asked me why I am taking a break from youth ministry, and I told people many different things. I think the defining moment was this past summer. For me, I had a lot of things that happened to me, and lets put this way, I could not wait till the fall. I had a lot of fun, but all through the summer, I was thinking when can I quit. What a terrible attitude to have. Also, I felt like I was developing an attitude within myself, and I think God was telling me that I need to do some reflection, and see what else was out there.

I am going to miss working with teenagers on a daily basis, but I looking forward to see what else I can do. I have had a great overall experience being the intern, and I never will forget the times that I have had going to Six flags (the dreaded trip) to Last Hour, Impact, retreats and other things. I will never forget the relationships that I have built with the teens and how the helped me out with some of the things that I was going through. I look at this picture and I see the smiles of these young girls, and I hope that is what I left this youth group with. I know it seems like I am saying "good-bye." In some ways I am because I will not going to be around you and doing things for teens, everyday. I thank God for you daily. God is going to do amazing things in your life, you just got to let him take control and take you down his journey. It has to be his plans, not yours. I leave you with this: You in HIS plans...your life for HIS plans.

Home

It seems that everyone is moving these days, and I am fixing to move to a new home myself. I am not a big fan of moving because I hate it. I understand when I get married and have kids, I know that I will be moving, but I am too young for looking at real estate options to see which one best fits my needs.

As many of you know, currently I do not live in the best apartment complexes. They are not the safiest place to live. I feel safe there and I know nothing is going to happen to me, but sometimes you have to choose the most affordable way to live. It is not how it looks, but what you can afford. I have lived in apartments for almost 3 years, but now I want something that it is called a house. So, in January I have decided to move into a new house, or new to me. I am wanting more space, and somewhere I can invite people over, and they can feel safe. The photo above is the house that I am going to be moving into. I know that it is going to be more responsibility, but I think that I am ready for the move.

Not only is this house bigger than my current apartment, but it has a pool. I am thinking of all the ministry opportunities that could go with having a pool. Who cares if it is hard to maintain. That is the least of my worries.

I am pretty excited about moving into my new house. It is going to be great living there.

Eye of a Tiger

As I write this note, I sit here freezing in my office that will no longer be mine in two months, and that is sad. I think I am shedding a tear, now.

It has taken me about a year to have my first "War Eagle" moment. I have wanted to attend an Auburn game ever since last fall. I became a Auburn Tiger fan because the UT Vols were loosing, and I needed a team to cheer for and who would win. I did not want to become Alabama fan because I can not stand the Tide, and you are ridiculed too much to be a fan of the Crimison Tide. So, while I have been down here I have slowly become a Auburn Tiger fan, while still believing that the UT Vols and the MTSU Blue Raiders can win. I think I now own more Auburn shirts and caps, than Tennessee gear. I will always be a Tennessee fan at heart, but after the dibacle that the Vols went through, last year, I had to find a winner and some team worth watching on TV.

My family came into town this past weekend, and we have been talking about going to a Auburn game for a while. There is nothing like experiencing a big college football program in the SEC. For the past four years my family would come to MTSU Blue Raider games, and watch them lose to teams in the Sun Belt conference. Wow, that is a conference worth watching!

I can remember going to UT Vols games with my family, and waking up at 3 a.m. to travel to Knoxville to be part of pre-game festivities. Not only that, I remember seeing the sun rise of the Tennessee mountains and thinking what am I doing up this early. After about two years of making this mistake, my family decided that we would watch the games on TV, instead. I remember going to the game cramped four deep in a backseat of a car made for three people. That was uncomfortable. I have plenty of stories about traveling to games in Knoxville. Two of my favorite memories was going to watch Peyton Manning play, and the year the Vols won the National Championship. That was incredible!

I am very glad my family came down to visit, so that we could enjoy the day in 90 degree heat. Now, I know why people stay at home to watch the games. I look forward to more "War Eagle" moments. Now, I have a hat that I can wear and show off my Auburn pride, and cheer for a school that I never went to. Well, I never went to UT, but I was raised a Tennessee fan. That counts, doesn't it?

The Trip, at Last

I have been wanting to post for a while, but I have been waiting for some pictures from one of my friends that I visited while I was on vacation. This vacation that I took 2 weeks ago was one of the best vacations I have been on in a long time. It was time to take time and relax, and not have to worry about everyday things. We went to Ft. Walton Beach. In my opinion, this was probably the best time of the year to go because it was not crowded and you did not have to worry about people getting in the way. We spent a lot of money eating at resturants that you normally do not get to eat at it. Some of the food was good and some of it was bad. We stayed there at Ft. Walton from Monday evening to Friday morning, and then I went to Tennessee, for the weekend.

At Tennessee, I stayed with some friends and was able to see some people that I have not seen in a while. I also had to take care of somethings for school. I can not believe that I am about to graduate from MTSU. It has been 5 years in the making, and I spent so much money just for a piece of paper. I am ready to graduate and move on with my life. While I was in Tennessee, I found out that one of my good friends got engaged. It seems that everyone around me is getting engaged, but me. I do not feel sorry for myself, I just think it is funny. The roommates that I have lived with are either married, or about to be engaged. I think a lot of it has to do with living with me because if they were not my roommates they would not have met the women that they are going to marry, today.

After I left Murfreesboro, I went to Crossville, TN to see my best friend, Brent. I finally got to see his and Jennifer's baby girl, Briley. She is a gift from God. I have been waiting on this moment to finally meet this precious gift, and while I was holding her, I was thinking that I have another child that I am need to protect. I have been waiting to see Briley ever since she was born, and it was worth the wait. I hope to see this precious one, soon again.

My vacation was great, and it was exactly what I needed. I had not been able to take time off and relax in such a long time. I got to spend time with family and friends. What a blessing it was to meet a new friend. I am very blessed to have family and friends that are willing help strengthen my relationship with God. It was great to get away and experience this.

Love to Encourage

The day started like every other day. I would go into the office and work, and try to figure out what I was going to have for lunch. Usually, I like to eat lunch around 11:30 or 12. Somedays, I will wait later, just depending on what I am doing at the time. But today, Ross invited me to lunch with him. This is the first time that I have had a one-on-one conversation with Ross about my ministry. I learned a lot about myself and about Ross. He wanted to know how I was doing, and what I was going to do after I graduate from MTSU. To end all speculation about what I am going to do, I am going to stay here, in Montgomery, and continue to serve the church at Vaughn Park, while I work at a secular job. I have come to learn that ministry is for me, but I think that I need a break from it, for a while. As I told a friend that I met at Impact, there are days that I feel I could do ministry for a long time, and then there are days that I am ready to get out of it. What keeps me going is that I continue to be an influence to teenagers. I have had other ministers tell me that I should keep going, but I sometimes feel that my heart is not into, anymore, and like my dad said when he was deciding to resign as a Deacon, at my home congregation, "if your heart is not into, it's wrong to continue." I have a heart for teenagers, and I care for them, but it is time to take a different approach. I do not know how long I will be here, but I know that God has big plans in store for me. Do not get me wrong, I have been very blessed by the time that I have been a minister intern here, and I looking forward to serving Vaughn Park for many years to come. I am very happy with the decision that I have made.

Back to Ross and the Mitchell family. When I first met Ross was when Clint was getting dropped off for a Spring Retreat that the youth group was going on. I really did not get the chance to talk him, but my impression was that he was a great minister to work with. As I have come to build relationships with the Mitchells, I feel like they are my second family. They have encouraged me, and told me to continue doing what I am doing. I am very blessed by having a family that cares for what I do. I am glad that Ross was willing to take some time out of his day to encourage and help me grow. It is great that I have someone to share my story with. To me this is what service is all about because Ross was wanting to know what was going on in my life. Service is about sharing your story with someone, but we do not really think about that, do we? Also, when I go to the Mitchell house, I feel like I am at home, and I am comfortable with them. I really love this family, and appreciate them caring for me. It is just not that Mitchells, but there are many more who care for what I am doing, here.

I just felt like I should share what happened, today. I keep getting reminded that the little things you do, bring encouragement in a big way.

Hot-Lanta

Many of you know that this is probably my favorite week in all of youth ministry. Yeah...right. This is our time to visit the "Great American Theme Park," known as Six Flags over Georgia. I can not tell you how excited I am to visit this park 3 years in row. I bet there is not a lot of people who have been able to do that feat, except in if you are a part of the Vaughn Park youth ministry, or any other youth ministry, for that matter. This brings up an interresting point...I can not stand people who like to brag on how many times they have been to Six Flags. Who cares if you stood in the heat, sweating, with your beer gut hanging out. I sure don't! I hate this trip because I am literally scared of the rides, but I love hanging out with the teens.

Let me tell you the reason why I am scared of riding the rides. Many of you do not know this story, and you can still ridicule me for not riding the rides, but I could care less. I use to like to visit this park, that will remain nameless because it is a cuss word in my vocabulary. When I was 10, I would ride those rides, and do all the dumb things that involve risk, but that would soon change. About 4 years ago, I was visiting this park with one of my friends who was an intern in Atlanta. The only reason I went was to hangout with him, and some of his friends. There was a girl in the college group, at the church where he worked, so I hung out with her for the most of the day, which was great. When we got there, Brent said, "you need to ride the ride that shoots straight-up, and drops you down." So, I did, but it was the worst mistake I made. After I got off that ride, I really thought I was going to have a heart attack. I asked Brent to feel my chest, and he told me to take it easy. So, I did, and I hung out with my new friend that I met. Ever since then, I just do not like to ride roller coasters, but I love watching idoits who do. I am going to have fun in at Six Flags over Georgia, talking to Bugs Bunny!

So, youth ministries, beer-gutted men and women, can have their fun at Six Flags...just not me. Guess what? This is some exciting news. I am going to another wedding in Tennessee, this weekend, and we know what that means...guarders and dancing. This is an experience that we all do not get to have. I will let you know how it goes, in a couple of weeks. I will let the excitment build, just like waiting in line to a ride roller coaster.

Under Par

This Fourth of July was celebrated a little different, than the ones from the past. For the past three years, I have not gone home to celebrate Independence Day. Usually, I am stuck in Montgomery, without a grill. It makes for a sad occassion because this is one day that I can gain weight. So, for this July 4th, I got to go home, and spend time with my family. This was not in the plans, till late, last Thursday. I received a text message from Jamin, asking if I wanted to go home. Usually, I would have said no because I think that I might be needed to do something with the church. Thanks, Jamin for allowing me to go home. I felt that I needed to go home, and spend time with my family, and that is exactly what I did. My dad tried to talk me out of it, but I felt that I needed to get away. Also, none of my college friends knew that I was in town, and I wanted to keep it that way because they would be calling and asking if I wanted to hangout, but this was family time. Also, Jackson tried to call, but he should have known that I was on vacation.

So, I pack my bags, and head off to Tennessee, on Friday. I was wanting to get together with a someone that I met from Impact, but that did not workout because she had prior engagements with the youth group she works with, which was a good thing. I wanted to see her, but I also knew that it was more important to spend time with family. I did not get to see my sister, as much as I wanted to because she spent most of the time working at a fireworks stand with my soon-to-be brother-in-law. I did get to see her when my dad, mom, and I drove to up to Columbia, TN, to see her at the fireworks stand. I like the fact that my sister is motivated to work hard, but there comes a time when family is more important than money. I think she has this understanding that she has to take care of everything, herself, but if she would rely on God, everything will be taken care of. So, I spent most of the time with my mom and dad. I haven't got to do that in a long time. So, last Saturday, I went to my favorite steakhouse, Longhorn, in Huntsville. My favorite steak is the New York Strip. I also went shopping for some new shoes, and I got some. It is amazing how I can still talk my parents in buying my shoes. Some may call this childish, but I call it being smart. My dad also got me some new golf balls, and I bought a new golf bag. I ready to hit the links.

There are many people who like to give me a hard time because I golf, but it is one of my favorite things to do, and to be honest, they do not understand the point of the game. It is more than just hitting the ball...it is taking out frustrations. I love getting out, and being surrounded in God's creation. I have peace of mind, and I am able to think and reflect on things that I want to do. I was able to golf twice during my break. The first time I went was with a family friend from my home congregation, and I good friend of my dads. This brings up an interesting point. I love my home church that I grew up in, and it is great to see people that I have not see in such a long time, and people like to know what I am doing. Also, it gives me the chance to take a break from the hustle and bustle of church that I am a part of. This is the reason why I am wanting to pursue a secular job because I want to serve and help Vaughn Park by being a regular member, here. I feel sometimes that I have turned church into a job, and it should not be that way. I am glad I can go home, and not have to feel like ministry is an ordinary job...it is something we do everyday. The second time I went golfing was with my dad, and my mom rode in the cart. What a great way to close out the weekend with my family. It was us on the course, and no one was there to bother us.

During this weekend, I got to go to Murfreesboro for a devo, and visit some friends. I did not mention that to my friends that I was coming, and it blew some of them away that I was there. There are times I miss attending these because I forget how it is to worship with other people close to my age. I remember when I would attend these three years ago, and they would be packed, but when I went to this one, there were about 10 college students, and about 20 adults. I do not know why there were so few students, and it use to not be like that. When I attended this one, the students were afraid to share their story. From what I noticed, this group needs to grow-up, and not be so afraid of each other. I am not for forcing someone to share, but it would be great if barriers would start to break within that group. That is another thing that has changed, since I have left the group. What I enjoyed, during this visit, was talking to one of the college interns, and catch up on what is going on in her life. This intern was one of the first people I met at MTSU, and we both attended RFC. What is amazing is that we were both Marketing majors, and now we are in ministry. I have always told her that we were going to do the same thing, throughout college, and after we graduate, and it has worked out that way, so far. I got to talk to my campus minister about things that I was going on in my life, as well. I hope to continue our conversation when I go up there to speak in the fall.

I was thinking this weekend about my life, and feel that there are times that I get taken advantage of. Does it have to do with me being kind-hearted guy, I guess you could say? I love doing good things for others, but sometimes I think people expect me to do more, and whatever they want. I know that the "nice way" is the way to go, but I feel that I am too nice, sometimes, and that gives people the chance to run all over me. I am not going to change who I am, but I get so tried of people taking advantage of me. I guess people think that I can take whatever is dished out to me, but I have got feelings, as well. I have dealt with this ever since I was in high school. Also, before I can do an idea, I get some negative reaction out of it, before even trying to do it, but if what I want to do goes wrong, it gives them the chance tear my idea apart. Where is the encouragement in that? At Impact I knew people were thinking that I could not lead the last devo, since Jamin could not. Some thought that I could not handle it, but Jamin did, and that gave me the confidence to do it. I know I am not Jamin, but I have been in this youth group for a while, and I knew I could do it, but because some did not have confidence in me, I sort of lost confidence in myself. After the devo was over with, I knew I did a great job, and so did others. I did not need others to tell me that I did a good job, but I had a great feeling after the devo was over with. That is what I mean by people do not think that I have feelings, and just in general, people think that they can say anything, and it will not affect others, but it does. I have had to learn to be careful what I say, and how I say it. There is a difference between being honest, and telling people what you think because what you say and how you say something to someone, may hurt feeelings, and destory their confidence.

Running

As I was riding on the bus, returning from Impact, yesterday, I was thinking when is our next tire going to blow, or have I left a kid somewhere. Leaving the kid behind always freaks me out because I waiting for that day that I get a call from a teenager, saying you left me. That has yet to happen...knock on wood. Really what I was thinking about was I can not wait to get home to my bed, shower, and dare I say...my toilet.

Just a few days ago, I was running away from things that were going on in my life. I am here to say that I have resolved those issues. It felt good to get away and just be by myself, and hangout with other ministers that I do not see very often. I enjoyed being around the teens, but I love hanging out with Aiden. I love Aiden, and there are times that I am very protective of him. When I see some of the teens doing stupid stuff around him, it makes me nervous because I am afraid that they are going to hurt him. I am not protective to the point that I am his parent, I just care for him. He makes me smile, even though he is only smiling because I am giving him food. I enjoyed watching how Jamin and Ashley interacted with him because they are teaching him one simple thing called love.

One thing I learned about myself at Impact was that I am not the Youth Minister that everybody wants to hangout with. I have Jamin I hang out with, but I am not part the Middle Tennessee Youth Ministry Team, nor do I want to be. By being up there, I can see it from another prospective. There are a lot of youth ministers that I know who try, and want to be on the board of Impact, or youth events that go on there. There is more ministry than that. It was great to be around Jamin, Ashley, and Aiden. I really do feel like I am a part of their family. By the way, Jamin, thanks for bringing us brownies and ice cream. Who cares of you got talked about by the Impact board. Whooptie-do! I would have done the same thing.

Impact was great for our group, and it broke down some barriers that need to be broken. God did an amazing thing in our group, and I am very proud of the way the group acted.

One of those

I have been told that I have been sad for the past couple of days. To be honest with you have been disappointed with how things turned out, but not sad. Sometimes, things have a way of working out in a way that you do not expect it to. I am a pretty happy person, and things seem not to bother me as much as they use to. I hate when people say you are not smiling. How do they know how I am feeling? I am very happy to be here, but there are times that I miss being around the things at home.

I have had one of those weeks that I wished that would not have been. I owe a big thanks for Walt, my intern for being there. He has helped me forget about the things that are going on. Somethings that have happened have effected the way I do my job. I have developed an attitude, and I apologize to the ones that I have been short with. Some of those times that I have developed an attitude, I think it was for a good cause. When I am mean, or coming down too hard, it usually because people are not listening to me. When I say stop, it is like, lets see how far you can test me before I have a heart attack. Yesterday, I was very disappointed in how things were going, I could not say anything, but think of my vacation coming up in August. I was not angry at the car wash, but what was happening among the group. It was like some of the teens got up on the rebellious side of the bed, and that affected the whole group.

This I blame on myself. Usually, I am good about getting stuff together that Jamin does not have to tell me to do it. I totally forgot to setup the stuff for the car wash, and after I learned what was going on, I should have set it up. Some of it was my laziness, and forgetfulness. To Jamin, I apologize for that.

Like I said before, somethings do not workout for the best, but it is how I get through those things that make me stronger. Let me start with last Thursday. As most of you know that I was going to visit a friend at camp that I wanted to get to know a little more, and things did not workout as I had wanted. It made me feel like I did something wrong to her, and I got told be a lot of people that I did not do anything wrong. So, I have avoided the whole thing, and the drama that was associated it. This whole ordeal had an impact on my life. It made me emotional depressed, and that was causing me to have attitude that I usually do not have. So, Monday, I prayed to God that he would take control of the whole situation, and he has. Then, I went and talked to a great friend and minister, Ross about the whole thing, on Tuesday, and he helped me get through it. So, I am waiting on her, and see what she is going to do, but I have moved on, too. Also, today, I ran into someone I least expected at a resturant that Walt, Liz, and I were eating at. A girl that I was getting to know last Fall was sitting right behind us, and it became awkward, and we had to go. I did not know that she was sitting there, until she got up to get something, and I saw her, I lost me appetite. So, we left on my command, and I never looked back.

Impact can not come soon enough. I am ready to go back to Tennesse and see some friends that I have not seen in a while. I guess I am running away from things, but I think that I really deserve a break. So, at Impact, I was suppose to stay with one of my good friends from Tennessee. I found out today that his wife was going to have an enduced birth. The doctors are not worried about the baby, but the wife, Jennifer, is who they are worried about. The baby is two months early, but Jennifer is having blood pressure problems, and that is weighing on my mind, too.

I have been through a lot this week, but I am so blessed that God put people in my life to help calm me down.

Road/Life Trip

I thought this past Memorial Day would be like every other that I have celebrated. I knew what I had to do on this day, which was to take part in a Summer Kickoff Party for the teenagers. The teens had the opportunity to swim and have a kickout, over at the Youngs. It was a great way to kick the summer off, and I am looking forward to what the summer has in store for the teens and myself. One of my favorite trips for the summer is Impact because I get to spend time with the some of my friends who I haven't seen in a while.

Remember when I said that I thought this Memorial Day would be like every other. Well, around 5:30 p.m., on Monday, I get a call from Jamin asking if I would be willing to take Anthony down to Orange Beach, Alabama for the Senior Trip. I had wanted to go in the first place, but in repeated attempts of asking Jamin if I could, I got "no" everytime. This was the Senior high group that I started with when I became an intern. This group is very special to me. So, when he called me, it did not take long for me to come to a conclusion. I left Monday night, and got there around 12:15 a.m., Tuesday Morning. I got to spend a couple of days with the Seniors, and it was fun. It has been a while since I have been to the beach. It was also the first time I got the opportunity to go to Lambert's, the "Home of Throwed Rolls." I made awesome catch. What was really weird about the whole Lambert experience, was that I ran into some teens that I was a volunteer youth worker for, in Murfreesboro, TN. Out of all the trips that we have taken, I have always thought it was possible to run into some people that I know, but once you do, it catches off guard because you never expect them to be there. I see the teens that I have been an influence for at Impact, but to see someone in Orange Beach, Alabama, is crazy. It just goes to show that it is a "small world".

So, I get back on Wednesday, and this journey that I have been on for the week is not over. I finally get to meet this girl who I have been communicating through MySpace, of all things. Remember the eHarmony thing? This is not like that. This girl goes to Vaughn Park. The only way I was going to get to meet this girl is if someone introduced me to her, and thanks to Ashley, this happened. Ashley also says that I should marry this girl. How awkward it was to have her walk up, and Clint pointing out that it was her. It didn't help the awkwardness, but we were both laughing at the whole thing. But what Clint did help ease the stress of the whole thing. When I meet her, she is just what I imagined her to be. She is very nice, and has a great personality. I am not trying to get my hopes up because I have been down this road before, only to have everything go wrong. So, I am taking my time, and trying to get to know her, and see where things go. This coming week, I am going to have the opportunity to see her at a camp, and get to know her more. I am looking forward to this, but also very nervous. I just got to be myself. This is going to come out one way or the other, so I thought I would give some details about this. This is as far as I will tell, so do not ask.

I caught it!

So, I went this wedding this past weekend, and I realized that it is more fun not being involved in the actually wedding. What I am saying is that I get to do things that the groomsmen and all the bridal party do not get to do. It is like they have to act a little more civilized. Most of my roommates have been married, and we have done some of the craziest things to them. Somethings that I can not mention on here.

I love weddings for two reasons. The first is that I get to see my friends that I have not seen in about year. There are many who think I do not have any friends. I am here to prove you wrong. The second reason is for the food, and I even told people the reason why I show up is to get those pigs-n-the planket. At this wedding, I got a full course meal. We had fried chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, and biscuits. I also got to eat two pieces of cake. Great food with great friends.

While I am traveling to Tennessee, I receive this phone call from one of my friends, and he asks if I want to help decorate the car that the bride and groom are going to drive. He boosts my ego, and said that I was a pro at decorating cars. This was the same guy who I stole his keys, so that I could decorate his car when he got married. He knows that I am good at doing this job. I know when I get married, my car is going to be trashed, and I do not care. That is just part of getting married. I will let them have my keys, and they can go for it, to a certain extent. The reason I bring up this is because while we were trashing the car, these two fun suckers said that they did not want their car decorated when they get married. Well, all I have to say to them is they will probably get their car trashed more than others. I wish that I could be there to help with the decorating, but I am glad to say that I will not be attending that wedding, and they better be glad that I am not attending that wedding, either, or their car would be trashed.

So, I caught my third garder at this wedding. A lot of people would call me desperate, but I just like catching them. My friends place bets on who will catch them, and I usually win. I am contender, not a pretender. The friends that I have do not believe that I can act crazy, but have a wedding, and they get to see the crazy side of me. I have even thought about being a wedding crasher. Gosh, how much fun that would be.

What is all this?

When Jamin said "what do you think about blogging?" I did not want to do it. I have never been a big fan of blogging, to be quite honest with you. It is not because I do not like it, it is because I do not have, or should I say, make time to do it. Usually I find something better to do. I love talking about my life, but writing about it does not make sense. I know people are going to disagree with me, but I do not care.

The past couple of weeks have been busy for me. I have had to get stuff done for school, and it seems that everything else as taken a back seat. It use to not be like that because I did not care about school because I knew that I would graduate, sometime. Now, that I have moved down to Montgomery, school is a priority because I want to get it done.

As you know, I usually tell you what I have had for lunch on Tuesday. But as I said before, I have slacked off this blogging thing. There have been so many lunches that I can't remember. If I could remember, I am sure that I would tell you about them because that is what we do in blogs. Was that a sarcastic statement?

Well, I have got to go cook me a grilled chesse. Humm...I can taste the butter, already.

Remember

March has come and gone, and so did my birthday. Everybody involved was happy for me. Remember my top 10 for March. Well, March 31st was a great day. I can't remember what I did on that day, but I am sure it was wonderful. I do remember one thing...I wished one of my friends Happy Birthday. I relaxed at home, and it was good day.

Since the month of March, I have switched banks. AmSouth did me wrong, and I had to switch banks, so that I would not lose anymore money. I switched to Wachovia, and it was a big decision for me because I had been with AmSouth for five years, and they have never caused me any problems, but I could not stand loosing $72, again. Usually, I would be content and stay, but one thing that they did not have was over-draft protection. Over-draft protection is when you do not have the right amount of money for something in one bank account, and it comes out of your other account. AmSouth did not have this, so they charged me with a payment. I was boiling mad.

I am so ready for tomorrow. One of my youth minister friends is coming into town, from Tennessee, and I haven't seen him since January. This guy is one of my best friends. We have known each other for about 10 years. I was in his wedding, and he has truely been a blessing in my life. There was this one time when we got so bored that we made these (I really do not know what you call it), but we took aluminum foil and Draino, and mixed and shook it up in a coke bottle, and we set it off in one of our friend's yard, and they called the fire department on us. It made a big boom! Oh, it was so much fun, but we vowed not to do that again because our friend got real mad. So, you see how he has been a blessing in my life. God, has used Brent to cheer my up my days when things have gotten me down. It is a great friendship.

I got a late birthday present from Jackson Garrett, Tuesday night. I have been telling him that I can not have pets in my apartment, but he got me one, anyways. He got me a Chea-Pet, or head. I will let you know how it is growing, and full it gets. I expect it to be ugly, but who knows. Early indications is that I will probably grow out a mullet, or a mo-hawk. You have any suggests, let me know.

Look for my blog about my car in a couple of days. Your my boy, blue, green, or whatever you want to call it.

Needs

Many of you know that my internship ends up in December. I know it is April, and I have 8 more months till I am in a new job. I have been deciding on rather I should go into full-time ministry. When I started, I never thought that it was possible to do what I have been doing for the past year, but God did. I have learn that he will guide and lead you, you just got to let him take control. So many times we think that we can handle everything, ourselves, but we can't. I found this out the hard way when I was first applying for internships. The other day I was praying that God would take control of job search that has begun. God is going to put me were he sees best. It is hard to think about doing ministry, somewhere else because I have spent my whole year learning to do ministry under Jamin. Just having to learn teen's names, all over, again, is one thing that I am not looking forward to, but it is like Jamin said the other day, "I have got to and do ministry, somewhere else." There are other teenagers who need know that God does love them, and that is what keeps me doing ministry. It is not about me, it is about sharing Jesus with others, and I have to keep on reminding myself of that. Also, I have got to remind myself that I am just an intern learning what it means to be youth minister, and the things that I learn, I will be able to use when I go into ministry.

Please be praying for the church that, Lord willing that I will be a minister to, and please praying for me as a minister, and for my job situation.

I have heard many times, from many people (Jamin included) that I need woman. I have heard it so many times from teenagers, as well. Well, I am here to tell you that I do. I am not ashamed of admitting it. I am looking forward to a day when I am not afraid to date, and when girls are not afraid of me. I do not see any reason why girls are afraid to get to know me. Why do girls think that going out as friends means dating. I think the first thing in a relationship is friendship, then a relationship. I have been so confused with this, since last Novemeber. I think of myself as I nice guy, but I just do not understand it. I know that God will provide someone, and it is on God's timing.

Apt. 1125

Nothing too deep, today, or everyday, for that matter. I just wanted to tell you how much I was in love with my apartment. I can't wait to get home to the thump music outside my apartment, and the two foot-prints still on my door, were someone tried to kick it in. How 911 has become my favorite telephone number. I am sorry for the mess, but I am cleaning it up this weekend. I just wanted to write, and let you tell me how deep this blog was, and how it made you cry. I never forget you, 1125, you are the love my life. You are more beautiful, today, than you were when we first met.

Tiger Rags

Sorry it has taken me a while to blog. I did not realize how many people look forward to my blogs. Well, I guess only two people actual look forward to it (Jamin and Candace). I just returned from a mission trip to Miami, and I had a great time, and we got a lot accomplished. It was a great trip, and I glad I got the opportunity to go. I have not had to blog because I have been trying to catch-up on my school work. I had three papers due in two days, and I did not find the time to get to blog.

I had a great birthday. Thanks to Lauren and Cameron for throwing me a surprise birthday party. That was really fun, and I know how much this group cares about me, and it shows by your actions towards me. Thanks for Jamin and Ashley for getting me that Auburn shirt. I have turned into a Auburn fan, since I have been down here, but I will always remain a big fan of Fat Phil and the UT Vols. So, I guess you can be a fan of two schools. Go Blue Raiders!

Yesterday, I forgot to say what I had for lunch, and I paid for it, this morning. Well, I had Mellow Mushroom, and I had a hoogie sandwich with ham, cheese, bacon, lettuce, and mayo. Last night, I felt so sick that, I hardly could do the paper I was working on. My lands, that was an awful feeling.






Great news! I just found out the yesterday that if everything goes according to plans, I will be a Blue Raider graduate, by the end of Decemeber. After this semester, I have 14 hours left till I graduate, and I have to pass everything from here on out. I am so ready to graduate after being in school for over 5 years. I know my family is ready for me to graduate. So when December rolls around, let the celebration begin.

Understanding

Lucky Charms is my favorite ceral! It's my birthday, so happy, happy birthday to me. So, yeah I am pretty excited. I am also excited about the mission trip. I am going to be pretty busy with the trip and school. See, my Spring Break was last week, and I did not have much going on with school. Now school is back on, and I pray that my schooling does not get in the way of the service that I am going to be doing down there, in Miami.

I am not to thrilled about doing school work on top of mission work because I am afraid that I will not accomplish much because I am going to have two things on my plate. I just can't let that happen. There are somethings in life that we have got to take and go on. It does not matter what it is. I want to finish school, but I am not going to allow my schooling to get in the way of God. My professors do not agree with this, or is it lack of understanding on their part?

There are sometimes we are going to have to stop being selfish, and understand that God is out there watching over us, and seeing how selfish we are. There is also a loving God out there loving us. This has been on my mind for the past couple days, and I do not mean to preach, but when we focus on what we want, what does that tell you about yourself? I struggle with this, as well, but I also know that God is the one, and I am one of his. My own selfish desires get in the way of me seeing what God is doing. So, fix your eyes on things above, not own things here on Earth. There are verses in the Bible, in I Corinthians 7: 19-20, it is talking about your body is a temple. It says that,"don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, for God brought you with a price. So you must honor God with your body." This has more to do than what you are wearing, it has do with how we let ourselves get in the way of God. I want God to be in control of my life, but I do I need to let go of everything that gets in the way of that.

Usually, I get on here, and make pointless blogs, but has been on my heart for the past couple of days, and I just wanted to say something about it.